2010 Recap

I had no intention of waiting this long to post. So much has gone on since my last entry. Being that we’re just a few days from 2011, it’s only fitting that I catch everyone up with a quick recap of 2010.
I started out the year with a new manager at work. Not the best way to begin. I was less than excited, as I’d worked with this individual before and found the experience frustrating. My expectations couldn’t have been more dead-on. It was the most challenging and difficult 10 months I’ve ever spent on a job. She was given the “boot” from our team in October, by which time I knew my days were numbered, with all the changes that were taking place. Sure enough, I lost my job on December 2nd. As heartless as I thought it was to let 6 people go just before the holidays, I soon found out from sympathetic friends and family that many companies are guilty of the same. As I mentioned before, I had seen the writing on the wall, so I was already sending out resumes. It just so happened that I had two interviews the week I lost my job—one the day before and one the day after. Only six days after being laid off, I received an offer with Sabre Holdings to become a trainer for their corporate travel portal. I feel so fortunate and guilty all at the same time. My RS teammates have not been as fortunate and continue job-searching. I truly believe that we go through trials and situations in preparation for what’s to come—something better down the road. I spent so many hours in filling out applications and being told “we went with another candidate” or something similar. I found myself so discouraged and even despondent at times. But, had those rejections not come, I would not have the opportunity I do now to use my language skills that ironically, I never used at that language learning company. Hang in there Carly and Carolyn! Great things are coming your way!
On to personal things. Quickly, Kenny and I got married, moved to Grapevine and went from one grandchild (his) to three (another for him and my first). I lost my job and got another. He’s changed job titles as well and got his OSHA training certification. If you know any general contractors who need a safety manager or trainer, speak up!
Now that I have your attention, here are some details.
Justin was married last year in August, just before returning to combat training with the Marines. Shortly after his return in November, he and his wife discovered she was pregnant. Unfortunately things did not work out for them and they split up in early 2010. I never realized how very painful it would be as a parent to not only watch my child’s heart break, but to know there’s really nothing I could do to make things right. Those of you who know me understand just how excruciating it was at times to bite my lip. I tasted blood many times.
Bentley Vaughan-Gilbreath was born on August 3, 2010. Justin and his wife have since been able to work together so Justin gets time with his son. They are getting along decently. I’m so proud of them both. There are so many people much older than they who still don’t care that it’s not all about them and treat others with decency and respect.
Lauren turned 19 and has been busting through school while working full-time. Don’t know how she does it. She’s planning to move to San Marcos in August to begin Phase 2. Both Justin and Lauren are so good to their younger siblings. I cannot believe how “grown-up” and caring they are.
Joey turned 13 this year. He also played football. He’s becoming quite the teenager. Take that as you wish. Hard to believe he’ll be a freshman in HS come August. Adriane is in 4th grade. She’ll hit double-digits in 2011.
Kenny’s daughter, Summer had her 2nd child in early December. She has a 4-year old son. Kameron is very proud of his baby sister.
So. I’ve gone from hot single mom of four to hot married mom of seven to hot Nonna with three grandbabies (that’s right, Nonna. Not Granny, not Grandma, not Nanny. Nonna. Don’t forget it). You should have seen all the stockings on the mantel. Exponential growth. To our grown kids: we’re set for now on grandkids. So, if it’s all the same to you put off parenting any more children (planned or otherwise) and get yourself financially stable. Love you.
I am positive 2011 has some great things in store. I would like to say it HAS to be better than 2010, but I know better. I am constantly reminded of just how lucky I am and that no matter how bad I think I’ve got it, it could be worse. Despite the trials and challenges of 2010, I consider myself very blessed.
I hope the New Year brings you a renewed hope and much prosperity and love.
Cheers!

Clean Slate

When most of us think of a clean slate, we think of a new beginning, a future of opportunity, with no past to haunt us, no skeletons lurking in any closets. It’s usually a positive thing, to have a clean slate, or a blank canvas. Endless possibilities!!

Well, yesterday was NOT a good day. I’ve been struggling with my job, as many changes have come about this year, many of them uninvited and of the “it’s-not-broke-why-are-we-fixing-it” kind. I got this assignment that I would normally be excited about except my manager has “hated” everything that’s been turned in by everyone else on the team. Not to mention, she’s been asking for the status, and I don’t like to be given a deadline and then told when to work on it. I’ve got a deadline. It’ll get done. Let me do it. So, I’ve been hesitant to start. Rebelling, I guess.

I finally got into my project yesterday. And although, it was good, I was not into it. I was not motivated. So five miserable hours into the project, I decide it’s time to shut it down. So I did. Before I did, though, I sent what I THOUGHT was my project to my colleague to review (she’s already had the luxury of turning hers in, having it “hated” and had to re-do hers). She emailed me back, “Did you only do one slide?” I laughed. “Funny. There’s 14 slides there.” “Um..no, there’s not.” She said. Sure enough, five hours of research and work—G-O-N-E. Apparently I clicked “no” when I was closing it.

That was enough to send me over the edge. Poor Kenny. I was bawling. I’m just so tired. His response: [hug, hug, pat, pat squeeze, kiss on the forehead] “I know. That was a long drive yesterday.” Really? Such a sweet man. So NOT what I wanted to hear. “That’s not what I mean,” I sobbed. “I feel so worthless and alone!” [His response: hug, hug, pat, pat, squeeze] “You have me.” Bless his heart. He tried.

As I was laying there sniffling in self-pity and listening to him snore, I thought, “Nothing. I’ve got nothing. An empty screen. A blank canvas. A…clean…slate. Yep. I got a clean slate.

Clean slates, I guess aren’t always what we expected or asked for. But they still represent possibility, opportunity to grow and show our talents. Perhaps in a way we never have. It was a struggle, but I got happy about my empty screen. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. I got more assignments today from my boss, as she assumes I’m further along than I am. It’s all good, though. More blank canvases.

I’m not any happier in my job than I was yesterday, last week or last month. But I’ve got some vacant space to exercise my talents and grow my experience so I can showcase them to my next prospective employer. Or client. I’ve decided I can do this for someone else, or I can do it for me. In truth, my standards are higher anyway.

Yeah, someday I’m gonna look back and be grateful for this time. When I got paid for five hours of misery and what turned out to be a new opportunity to take my skills to the next level. Thank you, laptop. Thank you, Power Point. Thank you giver of clean slates and second chances.

My Baby Girl's Growing Up

I was just discussing her 19th birthday today, with my youngest. "What are we going to do for Lolly for her birthday?" she asked me. Being nine, the baby and spoiled, she thinks everybody has a birthday party at any age. I keep saying to all four of my kiddos, "I should be the one who gets the presents, after racking up 54 hours of labor, countless nights awake by the toilet wiping your face with a cool rag and all the other MOM stuff." For some reason, they think I'm kidding. So anyway, we never decided what to do, but discussed the possibility of Hurricane Harbor on Lolly's birthday, as that's the day Baby #4 can get her intubated swimmer's ears back in the water. And that's what Lolly wants to do...take her baby brother and sister to the water park. That's the kind of big sister she has always been.
Fast forward a couple of hours of work, phone calls and emails: I'm on FB checking my messages and notifications. I notice my former student, Marco Morales (an up and coming freelance photographer) has posted some new pics. I take a glance and think, "Wow that girl looks a lot like my daughter." Thinking I need to catch up on what Marco's doing anyway, I click on the photo. I was taken aback, but I'm still not sure if it was the image or the subject. True beauty is one thing, but it's not always photogenic. There in front of me was the image of a young woman, her innocence (please contain yourself) of youth somehow captured in time by Marco's lens.
I am perpetually proud of my kids. They are pretty well-adjusted and decent despite my influence and mistakes. But today, I had one of those moments where I feel truly proud to be the mother of that young woman. In that photo, I see not only who she is now, but all of the ups and downs, band-aided boo-boos, "unfair" groundings, mean girlfriends, loser boyfriends, subsequent mama/daughter trips, Grandma mental-health days Grandpa fishing trips and Granny hugs that guided her path, and molded her into the grown woman I saw for the first time today.
As I'm sure most moms do, I worry for my kids, especially the grown ones, as they are responsible for their decisions now. I'm not sure how many moms worry like I do though. I worry my kids will not make decisions for themselves. That they'll let someone else's dreams and desires trump their own and they'll miss opportunities out of their own generosity or misguided love for another person. Life is so very short and so very ONCE.
Today, though, I realize my Lolly's got it together. She's gonna be alright. Her Daddy and I did good. We did real good.

If you'd like to see more of Marco's work, let me know and I'll send you his FB profile info.

Then Now

Inaugural Post!!

So, I've been thinking about doing this for some time. One reason I haven't yet is that I'm so afraid I'm going to run out of things to say. If you know me, you can stop laughing now and pick yourself up off the floor. You look ridiculous.

OK, So. No more procrastinating. I'm doing this.

What you will find here going forward:
1. Personal experiences from marriage to divorce, to single parenthood and bread-winning to financial independence (almost), to mid-life dating and relationships. More about re-marriage (and taking back all the "never agains"), family trials and triumphs and impending grandparent-hood.
2. Being true to yourself
3. What you want vs. what you need
4. Speaking Spanish, Speaking French, Learning Italian and Japanese and.....
5. Beach/Travel Addiction
6. Dancing and Singing, even when no one is looking and especially when everyone's looking!!
7. Loving your job
8. Hating your job
9. Making your future your own
10. Lots of other stuff!!

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I plan to enjoy sharing my "vision" with you.

Be sure and take the poll below: What do you want to hear??